On my sudden epiphanies that 1. this blog has pretty much become entirely about ME, 2. not many people would find that premise for a blog all that interesting, 3. one of the reasons it's hard to have a social life is because I was previously in a program where nearly every aspect of sociality was dictated- nay, lovingly-guided (wink, to Mission Year), 4. these have been the hardest months of my life (Aug-Oct)... I have some loosely-related advice, taken from various folks, that I need to remember. And hey, why not take it yourself, you three readers out there.


Dear Self,

My God, just be HONEST, take care of yourself, and fight for the rights you have to get what you need.

Love,
Self

Just thinking

Which I am obligated to do, being in a scholastic environment. Sigh. I know that statement is terrible, but... I don't want to have student status anymore. I'm disenchanted with education. I wish that was enough to make me drop out, but there are definitely reasons why I'm still in; don't worry.

Apart from assignment, I've been thinking that I'm going to start referring to God as both a woman and a man. A higher-power marriage, if you will. I think that if other people started referring to him as both, it would make for a deeper understanding of her. Seeing God as our Mother and our Father, motherly qualities coupled with fatherly. A dual-gender guide. I think it's great, even if it's confusing. And counter-intuitive. And dangerous?

Well, okay. I mean, yeah, I guess so.

Update: am not doing paper for tomorrow. Too much analysis/effort for one measly page.
Here's a picture- kind of funny.

Six girls in college... maybe seven.

8! I finished a test that took me about 5 hours to do. Those 5 hours essentially included any and all work I would have needed to do to prepare for that class for any given session AND for that specific test. 5 hours of work + showing up to class = doing well on exams every month and a half? Deal. I feel like I can do anything.

7. I've been answering my phone more. And making phone calls more. I've invested in a good number of relationships via ye olde telephone, which is kinda new for me. Some at the expense of school, which bothers me only a tiny bit, if you know me. I have a paper to do before 7:40 tomorrow, er, today... morning. Plus sleep. No big.

6. I got some SPECTACULAR funding for my education, pretty much by chance.

5. I was talking to my step-grandma the other day, and she asked me what color of scarf I want for Christmas this year (like my 2 other scarves I've gotten for other Xmases). I said, "Well, I really like that purpleblue-" (she interrupts) " 'cripple-blue?!' " She is wonderful.

4. The internet I get @ my place = email and blogger, but that's it. Strange?

3. I'm really proud of my friends Stephen and Sarah today.

2. Life is pretty good, I think. Being a grown-up is, eh, mas o menos.

1. No pictures on this one! What gives.

Tit-for-Tat

Urban Christian hipsters are an standoffish bunch of folk, among many other characteristics that make socialization difficult. I think I'm becoming one more and more, 'cause I'm noticing the same things about myself. I hate it.

Also, every day for the last week or so, I've seen one of those ad airplanes flying over east Philly that totes a banner advertising Ge!co insurance. There's one banner w/ that damn gecko, and another one w/ that damn caveman. Honestly. I hate it when a company takes an already lousy attempt to have a funny marketing scheme, and totally plays it up like it's the funniest thing ever. Not because of public support, but because they've clearly got the dough to push anything, including something as ri-di-cu-lous as those two ad icons. Maybe they're trying to appeal to people who need constant repetition or whatever to understand jokes, semi-humorous things, etc. Which I guess would be fine, because there are certainly folks like that, just like there are folks who understand jokes and semi-humorous things just fine. For me, the ads are SO. DUMB.

And that is all.

The last week

I had a great birthday. There were so many great things about that day. Let me just say that it ended with Dairy Queen and "Waiting for Guffman." And that would have been enough to constitute a great day.

However, I had to take a RI-DI-CU-LOUS exam that day. It was an exam that had questions we had not covered in class, nor outside materials, not contained in books, etc. And I got a C. Everybody did crappy on it and our instructor is insane.

BUT... here are some other GOOD things. Yesterday, whilst waiting for the bus, I found a book of matches w/ one match left, a sweet pen that writes really well, AND... a plastic gem that looks like something I had on a jean jacket as a kid. AMAZING.

Today in one of my classes, somebody asked a really poignant (I guess) question that made our professor sit and think for a few seconds. The whole class was quiet, but my friend Tracey turns to me and says in a normal voice, "You can lean all the way back in these seats!" And so we lean back as far as we can and say, "Leeean back, leeean back" (like whatever song that is). Best part of the class, I think.

love to you all