life and love so far in Philos Adelphos

transition is the name of the game

2009-10-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

As my last post was nearly one year ago (yikes), I felt it was time for another update. On just a few of the big things, anyway.

First of all, I graduated college. With a Bachelor degree. So glad THAT hellacious ride is over- I never wanna go back EVER! Definitely not for a grad degree or something- yuck. I was told that if I got a four-year degree I'd never regret it; so far, I'm indifferent about that assertion, but probably only because I'm not directly utilizing it in my current retail job...

And I moved back to Washington two months ago. Living w/ my mom and step-dad in a rural part of town. AND I'm not paying rent for the first time in a couple years, thank you very much!

And because of the recent move, I feel that this blog title/theme is obviously a little outdated. Plus, I'm not a die-hard blogger, nor would I like to be one for a whole heap of reasons, at least at this point in my life.

So, I'll leave this blog up, but nothing else will be written on it.

This seems like a very abrupt end to the blog, especially because there is no summing-up of my life in Philadelphia herein. I wish I could express how I feel about leaving the city, reasons why I left, how I've felt since, what/who I miss, what/who I don't miss, etc. but it would take forever and never feel complete, as I am continuing to try to answer those myself.

But I will say this: my life at the end of my time in Philly was drastically different that it was when I first arrived. This may not make much sense, but so much of my identity was developed and is now connected to Philly because of relationships with beloved neighbors, friends, co-workers, peers, experiences in various places, and learning and cycling between apathy and passion toward social issues which are so prevalent in a socioeconomically diverse city such as Philly. Living in a city for the most formative years of my adult life (so far) was intense, to say the least. It's unbelievable how much can happen in three years, and I regret not utilizing this blog as a medium to take the space and time to process all of it, or at least a good deal of it. And I guess that's all I can say about it.

Well anyway, if ever I start another blog, I'll post the address here, but don't hold your breath! In the meantime, keep up with my sporadic twitter exploits :)

Thanks for reading, you three. Much love to you all.

I'm here! I'm here!

2008-11-03T17:42:00.000-08:00

I am still alive and kicking. The last 6+ months in a nutshell:

April: the post below has a picture of our view from our front door. We were outside the day after a really scary incident w/ some former neighbors and trying to show people that we weren't scared of living in Kensington, on our block, in the face of intimidation, etc.

It's kind of a long, complicated, and personal story. But I'll just say that there are a lot of things that we could be afraid of, living in a "rough" area like we do, if we let it get to us (such as getting mugged, assaulted, harassed, hurt in other ways, etc.) but we don't and we try to be as confident and unafraid as we can. This incident trumped these, as it involved a personal vendetta against my housemate, as opposed to being randomly hurt in any of the above ways. ALL THAT TO SAY, everything has blown over, everything is cool, everybody's okay, and I think said former neighbors are in jail.

May: school ended, I flew back to Washington for a month, my step-sister got married, I got sick...

June: flew back to PA, readjusted, worked a lot, got a new housemate, Travis

July: my dear friend Michelle from the West came out for a few days, I started summer school, worked some more, rode my bike a lot

August: went to Maryland for a weekend, finished summer school, quit my job, went on a road trip w/ my dad, step-ma and dogs, visited family in Missouri, flew back to PA, Travis moved to another part of Philly, got a new housemate, Derek, one of my dearest friends and former mission year housemates moved back West :( big fat booooooo

September: Derek moved to another part of Philly, I started my SENIOR YEAR, started back @ the Sisters as a social work intern, got two new roommates from Kansas, Micah and Aubrey(short-term, leaving in late Nov), got super busy w/ all of the above, turned 24, celebrated the return of friends who had been abroad all summer, bought an orchid

October: former mission year housemate Sarah came to visit for a weekend, started helping a couple neighbor boys w/ reading for an hour/week, started freaking out for all my friends who are all of a sudden soon-to-be engaged, got some good grades, went to a laaaaaaaame "Halloween alternative" kid's thing @ a local church, at a lot of candy (which is nothing new ever), Oh! and found out I'm not on the verge of diabetes

AND
November: pretty decent so far. One friend got engaged (semi-shocker!), saw "Baby Mama" (one of the worst movies of all time), painted my nails, skipped church, got a new housemate, Carl (but not Winslow, which is honestly a little disappointing)

To come, in case I don't update ever again: lots of schoolwork this month (lots and lots), Thanksgiving in Snohomish, live out a Barry Manilow song ("weekend in New England"), freak out within the next three weeks, drive to MO w/ housemate Cambria for Xmas, spend New Year's Eve in St. Louis (?), drive back out here, take a week-long class for some extra credits for my degree, start the new semester...

Whew, all caught up! I think I did a pretty good job... don't think I missed much... Oh wait, I bought a business suit too.

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21

2008-04-27T16:21:00.000-07:00

This picture is this verse incarnate. I can't explain everything that is going on here, but if anybody is the praying type, I would ask you to do so for my block.

Thanks friends.

Remembering

2008-04-20T17:25:00.001-07:00

My 6-member team was packed into a 5-seating car on the way to sneak into a hotel to go swimming last summer. I started singing "Everything I do, I do for you" by Bryan Adams. One team member joined in, then two more, then the others. All in complete seriousness. No laughing or otherwise exploiting the whole experience. And everybody knew the words.

One of my favorite moments of Mission Year for sure.

So long, bragging rights.

2008-04-19T11:12:00.001-07:00

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/sports/stories.nsf/cardinals/story/B01F824178ED2CD18625740C000986E7?OpenDocument

Just another post berating myself for not blogging :D

2008-04-12T17:12:00.001-07:00

Really, I feel like these kind of posts are frequent (if you can call my writing on here "frequent"), so I'll spare you three or so readers the lame story and just let you know that, after much contemplation about the Internet, public vs. private life, whatever... on the sidebar, there's a thing that says "thinking and/or doing" (or something like that), which is a nice way of camouflaging the ugliness of the layout that is a Twitter account.

I KNOW, I know... I'll take the teasing and insulting... but it, so far, has been 1) better for me than blogging, in that I don't have a whole lot of time to sit down and write about things I've been thinking about in depth (which, believe you me, has not been all that prevalent lately) and need to write a bunch on. Thus, it has been 2) a nice and quick way to process daily happenings (kind of). So, there it is. I just got to the point where I was tired of being a hypocrite by reading other people's blogs and such, but not reciprocating, so to speak.

So, it's a step. A step in the direction of an inevitable fact that everybody's shit is gonna be everywhere on the WWW someday. Just wait. Oh, and enjoy all my updates.

"All politics are local"- Tip O'Neill

2008-02-27T14:30:00.000-08:00

Here's how I know this is true:

I tend to have left-oriented views on politics. This being said, I feel it's best to have politicians in office who share my views (identity politics, anyone?).
I am covered under my dad's health insurance plan.

My dad tends to be mostly right-oriented. This being said, he feels it's best to have politicians in office who share his views. In fact, he works for a prominent Republican figure in Missouri, and if this guy wasn't in office, my dad would be out a job. His health insurance plan is through his job.

Although we don't have many stances on political issues in common, it's best that his views win out, at least in Missouri, so that he can keep his job. If he keeps his job, he keeps his insurance. If he keeps his insurance, he keeps me on his plan.

SO, even though I most likely would NOT vote for the guy who keeps my dad employed, it's best that he is elected. Otherwise, I wouldn't have health insurance.

How's that for a pickle?

I miss writing on here sometimes.

2008-02-06T18:19:00.000-08:00

Like now. Every few months, I'll write something because I remember how much happens in my life and want to write just a little bit. This entry is in reaction to reading the other blog posts on this page.

New year, new semester, new faces. I, of course, have a lot of reading and work to do by tomorrow morning. My mom just came to visit for the weekend, which was a really good time. My fridge and freezer are full of food. I love unintended alliteration. One of my good friends from Washington is interning at my work and lives not three blocks from me. It was almost 70 degrees her today. Pretty awesome. Those are the big ones.

I suppose I'm done now. I know this is boring to read, so I apologize. And to make matters worse, I have no pictures because I am writing this from school! Dag.

I think my heart stopped when I heard about this

2007-11-12T11:34:00.001-08:00

This totally blew me away. I can't even believe it or explain why.

Da Vinci's Last Supper alive with music?

Last Updated: 2:18am GMT 12/11/2007

A computer technician claims to have discovered a real da Vinci code after finding music hidden in Leonardo's masterpiece, The Last Supper.

Giovanni Maria Pala said that the hands of Jesus and the Apostles, and the loaves of bread in the picture each represented a note, which formed a 40-second composition.

He made the discovery after superimposing a stave - the five lines used in sheet music - on the painting. The composition emerges when the "notes" are read right to left, following Leonardo's own technique.

Mr Pala, who will publish his findings in a book next week, said: "It sounded really solemn, almost like a requiem."

Alessandro Vezzosi, of Tuscany's Leonardo museum, said the theory was "plausible", but added: "There's always a risk of seeing something that is not there, but it's certain that the spaces [in the painting] are divided harmonically.

"Where you have harmonic proportions, you can find music."

(from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/11/wsupper111.xml)

(H)ey, yo, MOVE it.

2007-11-08T21:48:00.000-08:00

I've been identifying myself lately as a "hard, urban dweller." Maybe not always the "hard" part, but either way, I've lived in Philly for over a year now, and here's proof of this blessed lifestyle transformation:

- I drink coffee at least four days/week. Large coffees. No of that small , watching-my-figure business. Cutting out sugar- next goes cream.

- By my estimate, every fourth word out of my mouth (mainly when commuting)is one that the FCC wouldn't allow at their most lenient. It cracks me up, cussing. The combinations, such as "I'm a grown a-- man", "F--- that s---" (personal favorite), and, as noted by my little brother, "Hurts like a son of a b----". What do these even mean? If nothing else, cussing provides comic relief.

- I have seen at least three or four different mice today: one at work, two or three at home. After my initial yelp and "HEY!" they still hung around. These yelps have been less frequent, although seeing those same few mice run amok in our dining room has not. In fact, I just heard one in our wall. I might be getting to the point where we are co-existing peacefully, like when I had a hamster, kind of. But this means that extermination will get all the more difficult, as we're getting used to each other. My terms are these: don't crap everywhere, don't crawl on me, and don't give me hantavirus. Especially the hantavirus- I don't have health insurance.

So good, it hurts

2007-11-06T21:22:00.000-08:00

For the last couple months, I have taken a very strong liking to jazz. For the first time in my life, really, and I don't know what spurred it on. Maybe it's kind of white noise to me w/ so much other noise; plus, when all of a sudden it's quiet, it's good filler music. In particular, I have been in awe of John Coltrane. "Equinox" was what got me hooked.

How life will be for me on any given day is really anybody's guess. Today was decent, then started to turn into not so decent. All of a sudden, I wanted to be by myself, so I sat here @ my computer and turned on good ole iTunes.

In my African-American history class today, my prof talked about jazz's roots in blues, Negro spirituals, sorrows songs, African lullabies... and how, being that jazz is mainly improvisational, it's like a dialog, in his words. Something about how the drums, the piano, the saxophone, all separate but coming together so nicely in conversation. Something about how you think there's a set pattern in the beginning of a song, then at the end, you can hardly recognize it. Something about how all the roots of jazz are so filled with pain, passion, a desire to go home.

How does this mix end up creating something so beautiful? I feel like jazz is one of the best expressions of life as I'm understanding it right now. Even now, listening to it has brought me such... not peace, well maybe a little... more like, a sense of home? Commonality? Whatever it is, it's deep for me, and it's good.

2007-10-30T22:26:00.000-07:00

On my sudden epiphanies that 1. this blog has pretty much become entirely about ME, 2. not many people would find that premise for a blog all that interesting, 3. one of the reasons it's hard to have a social life is because I was previously in a program where nearly every aspect of sociality was dictated- nay, lovingly-guided (wink, to Mission Year), 4. these have been the hardest months of my life (Aug-Oct)... I have some loosely-related advice, taken from various folks, that I need to remember. And hey, why not take it yourself, you three readers out there.

Dear Self,

My God, just be HONEST, take care of yourself, and fight for the rights you have to get what you need.

Love,
Self

Just thinking

2007-10-28T16:28:00.001-07:00

Which I am obligated to do, being in a scholastic environment. Sigh. I know that statement is terrible, but... I don't want to have student status anymore. I'm disenchanted with education. I wish that was enough to make me drop out, but there are definitely reasons why I'm still in; don't worry.

Apart from assignment, I've been thinking that I'm going to start referring to God as both a woman and a man. A higher-power marriage, if you will. I think that if other people started referring to him as both, it would make for a deeper understanding of her. Seeing God as our Mother and our Father, motherly qualities coupled with fatherly. A dual-gender guide. I think it's great, even if it's confusing. And counter-intuitive. And dangerous?

Well, okay. I mean, yeah, I guess so.

2007-10-23T22:51:00.000-07:00

Update: am not doing paper for tomorrow. Too much analysis/effort for one measly page.
Here's a picture- kind of funny.

Six girls in college... maybe seven.

2007-10-23T21:57:00.001-07:00

8! I finished a test that took me about 5 hours to do. Those 5 hours essentially included any and all work I would have needed to do to prepare for that class for any given session AND for that specific test. 5 hours of work + showing up to class = doing well on exams every month and a half? Deal. I feel like I can do anything.

7. I've been answering my phone more. And making phone calls more. I've invested in a good number of relationships via ye olde telephone, which is kinda new for me. Some at the expense of school, which bothers me only a tiny bit, if you know me. I have a paper to do before 7:40 tomorrow, er, today... morning. Plus sleep. No big.

6. I got some SPECTACULAR funding for my education, pretty much by chance.

5. I was talking to my step-grandma the other day, and she asked me what color of scarf I want for Christmas this year (like my 2 other scarves I've gotten for other Xmases). I said, "Well, I really like that purpleblue-" (she interrupts) " 'cripple-blue?!' " She is wonderful.

4. The internet I get @ my place = email and blogger, but that's it. Strange?

3. I'm really proud of my friends Stephen and Sarah today.

2. Life is pretty good, I think. Being a grown-up is, eh, mas o menos.

1. No pictures on this one! What gives.

Tit-for-Tat

2007-10-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

Urban Christian hipsters are an standoffish bunch of folk, among many other characteristics that make socialization difficult. I think I'm becoming one more and more, 'cause I'm noticing the same things about myself. I hate it.

Also, every day for the last week or so, I've seen one of those ad airplanes flying over east Philly that totes a banner advertising Ge!co insurance. There's one banner w/ that damn gecko, and another one w/ that damn caveman. Honestly. I hate it when a company takes an already lousy attempt to have a funny marketing scheme, and totally plays it up like it's the funniest thing ever. Not because of public support, but because they've clearly got the dough to push anything, including something as ri-di-cu-lous as those two ad icons. Maybe they're trying to appeal to people who need constant repetition or whatever to understand jokes, semi-humorous things, etc. Which I guess would be fine, because there are certainly folks like that, just like there are folks who understand jokes and semi-humorous things just fine. For me, the ads are SO. DUMB.

And that is all.

The last week

2007-10-02T14:24:00.000-07:00

I had a great birthday. There were so many great things about that day. Let me just say that it ended with Dairy Queen and "Waiting for Guffman." And that would have been enough to constitute a great day.

However, I had to take a RI-DI-CU-LOUS exam that day. It was an exam that had questions we had not covered in class, nor outside materials, not contained in books, etc. And I got a C. Everybody did crappy on it and our instructor is insane.

BUT... here are some other GOOD things. Yesterday, whilst waiting for the bus, I found a book of matches w/ one match left, a sweet pen that writes really well, AND... a plastic gem that looks like something I had on a jean jacket as a kid. AMAZING.

Today in one of my classes, somebody asked a really poignant (I guess) question that made our professor sit and think for a few seconds. The whole class was quiet, but my friend Tracey turns to me and says in a normal voice, "You can lean all the way back in these seats!" And so we lean back as far as we can and say, "Leeean back, leeean back" (like whatever song that is). Best part of the class, I think.

love to you all

kind of a gross day

2007-09-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

I ate two hotdogs within five minutes, give or take. Why does the meat that is pretty much the worst for you taste the best? I love those things.

I realized that I've been wearing the same bra for almost four weeks in this hot Philly summer.

I walked barefoot outside and right into a puddle of a guy's recent urine deposit.

Time for a shower.

A nice welcome back, by the way

2007-08-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, I get in at about 2:30 PM, go right to work, leave around 7P, walking down the oh-so-familiar streets close to the afterschool house(or what once was the afterschool house; you heard about this, right?)

And who rounds the corner in front of me, but...

Lou-is, Lou-is, PREEEEE-cious Lou-is!
(Hee hee, this picture cracks me up. He is a whiner if I ever knew one.)

We caught up, he told me twice that they burned down the afterschool building, he asked me about one of the other afterschool teachers.
What a wonderful way to come back to the city :)

Oh, I am not quite sleeping. Oh, I am fast in bed.

2007-08-21T18:50:00.000-07:00

Man. I'm pretty tired, but can't sleep. Now, I know that I probably feel nothing compared to four friends who have had babies in the last few months, but let's see... I've been awake for about 30 of the last 34 hours. That's a lot, right?

So I'm back in Philly. I have a job. I start school next week. I am apartment hunting. When did this all happen?!

The weather here is over 40 degrees cooler than when I left. I haven't worn closed-toed shoes since a hike three weeks ago, and I haven't worn them for non-athletic purposes since winter. My bones are damp and I should at least put on some socks.

It's weird to be back here but not under a program's regime like I was when I left. And how it'd been for the entire time I was in Philly up until now. I can go drink beer without penalty. I could have beer wherever I'm gonna live. I could watch TV if I had one. I can go to whichever church I want. I don't have to write newsletters!

This is going to be a strange few weeks, a strange season altogether. Maybe I'll be diligent in writing in this blog to process? Maybe I'll never write in it again? The suspense is killing you, no?

A little something from my trip to Washington:

(Scene: It is Grant's first night with his new car. He is standing by it and I say, "Okay, lemme get a picture with you and your car." He whinely and seriously says, "Ugh, noooo. I hate this kinda stuff. And posed pictures are so stupid." He climbs in his car to do something and I take a picture of the car anyway. And what do I see, but...)

... another reason why my little brother is one of the funniest people I know. He's a natural.

Newman, the dog to end all dogs

2007-08-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

Our dog Newman is the greatest dog in the world. There is no room for argument about this. Here is why, but please know that there is much more proof.

He's a long-haired miniature dachshund. He weighs in at about 9 pounds and will be 9.5 years old at the end of the month. He's got some pretty pure bloodlines, whatever significance that holds for you. He has never really fulfilled his purpose as a badger hunter, unless you count chasing squirrels on the fence, crapping, and digging holes in the backyard for absolutely no reason as purpose.

However, I wanted to post on Newman because last night and into today, he did something amazing.

He slept and lay in my bed for over 12 hours without getting up. OVER. 12. HOURS. When he got up, it was with reluctance to get down to pee in the morning.

Don't worry, he's not sick or anything. He's just a huge mama's boy and if my mom's not around, he does pretty much does nothing. Can you guess where he is right now? That's right: laying at my side as I type this, as he has been the entire time I've been typing.

Although you are probably overwhelmed by the sheer... what's a good word here... PERFECTION... STRENGTH OF CHARACTER... of Newman, after the initial shock, feel free to comment on how there is no better dog in the whole friggin world. Thank you.

P → Q, and Q → R... then P → R.

2007-08-03T07:40:00.000-07:00

If...
I pace around the first floor of our house and stop to open the fridge nearly a dozen times to see if, by a four-second glance, I can find something to eat that doesn't require any prep, (P)
then...
I will end up crossing the street in hopes of a single slice of pizza, but end up ordering a small pizza which will take 20 minutes for them to bake. (Q)

If...
I will end up crossing the street in hopes of a single slice of pizza, but end up ordering a small pizza which will take 20 minutes for them to bake, (Q)
then...
I will have to walk home from said pizza joint, wait, go pick it up, and walk home again. (R)

Therefore,
If I will have to walk home from said pizza joint, wait, go pick it up, and walk home again (R), then I am still moving around when I should be eating. (P, roughly)

I finally understand hypothetical syllogism. Good thing I took that logic class twice- life makes so much sense.

A mis estudiantes preciosas

2007-07-26T23:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the last day of my morning ESL class after a little over 9 months of teaching. One of my students is taking her citizenship test 2 days after I leave Philly for a bit, so I'm gonna work with her up until I leave, but otherwise, I'm pretty much done with my major duties at the Welcome Center. I will miss teaching with such frequency. And I'm so thankful for my students and how amazing they are.

To Areika: thank you for being patient with me as a new teacher, for teaching me about Honduras and how to dance like una hondureña, for your amazing pronunciation, and for that awesome meal at your parent's house.

To Amarily: thank you for your humor, opening up your home to me, being my friend, trusting me to translate medical stuff right, the constant food, and inviting me into your family's life and celebrations.

To Angela: thank you for the patience you have grown in me through your struggles in English, for your cheerfulness and bliss despite being elderly and nearly alone in this country, and for the immense joy and motivation you had when you finally understood something.

To Ana: thank you for showing up every day for citizenship and working your ass off, for trying to get prepped the best you could for your test, for the electric aquarium which intrigues all, and for accepting defeat graciously.

To Maria: thank you for your energy, your laughter, your patience and humor with Angela, my Valentine's day doll Eduvigis, and offering to take me to the gym with you.

To Edelma: thank you for your joy, showing up after working all night, for not being afraid to ask for help when you were confused, for utilizing any and all English you knew, and for the offer of a place to live this fall.

To Lucila: thank you for your diligence, kind heart, willing attitude, independent learning skills, patience in everything, and the papaya and pineapple during breaks.

To Minerva: thank you for your energy, your warm and bubbly personality, your encouragement, for the offer of a haircut, and for showing up a few times.

To Nury: thank you for your sweet demeanor, your excitement for citizenship, your offer of a vacation and hang out time in the Dominican Republic, and for that wheel of cheese. It was awesome!

To Aida: thank you for being an early bird, for letting me know when something was boring, for telling me about your family, and for being so teachable.

To Albeda: thank you for always participating, being so advanced and thus my "pet" ha ha, for your thoughtfulness and wanting to know me as more than "teacher Katie," and for the shirt I'm wearing right now.

Thank you all for making my "work" this year something so much more fun and fulfilling than I could have even imagined. Many times over this difficult year, a morning with you all was one of the only things that made me wake up some mornings. Especially on the days where you told me I could pull off latina fashion if I wanted. We'll see.

I feel so fortunate to have gotten to know you all and teach you all some English. Good lord, even though today was our last day of class, I was still trudging through the alphabet with one of you. Thank you for affirming comments like, "teacher EXCELLENT", "buen clase", "enseñanos todos días!", etc. Thanks for helping me practice my Spanish; in fact, I think I got pretty spoiled since I could translate words easily from English if you all didn't know them. I might have encouraged Spanish speaking more that way, but I was desperate. So desperate that I now have a hard time transitioning from Spanish to English when I speak w/ an English speaker. It would have been hard if one or some of you spoke Albanian or Polish or something.

(L-R: me, Angela, Hanh (another student), Areika)

Areika and me, kickin it with bachata music

Thursdays with Rosetta Stone. The man and the woman are dancing. A cat. A dog. An airplane.

My hard workers (L-R: Amarily, Nury, Aida, Lucila)

Last day, my faithful few (L-R: Amarily, Lucila, me, Nury, Albeda)

You are all great! Lesquiero mucho! Nos vemos!

Thank you, trolley ride

2007-07-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

I am really liking Southwest Philly parce que il y a beaucoup des hommes d'Afrique qui parlent le francais. Et je l'aime beaucoup. Tres beau sont des hommes, en particulier avec cette langue. Ah, mon coeur.

A day with AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" interrupting church

2007-07-23T10:36:00.001-07:00

can only be awesome.

This was my Sunday: I have a pan-handler friend, Tina, who has become very dear to me. She is pretty unreliable as far as making plans goes, so when I see her, it is always by surprise. I show up to church, the earlier service, and there, three rows from the front, is not only Tina, but her roommate, Rose! Totally surprised. So I make my way up there, take a seat.

Tina wants to talk. In her normal voice. While we're praying or something quiet. Rose is insistent on rummaging through her PLASTIC grocery bag during the sermon in this small sanctuary, which was distracting to pretty much everybody. Oh God, help her find what she needs QUICK...We stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down... and Tina starts to nod off and fall over. She has low blood sugar, poor soul, and her legs are hurting due to MS. So every 10 seconds or so, I try to inconspicuously nudge her to keep her upright.

After one of these noddings-off, she wakes up to my phone ringing in the middle of church. Of course, one of the few times I forget to silence it. SO, I'm digging, trying to find and silence it. She doesn't understand what I'm doing, so she grabs one of my hands (which, I was using to locate the phone) and tries to shove a ring that looks like this on my finger, while my phone is still buzzing, ringing, annoying... yes. It's all beat up but really sweet of her to give to me. She starts to tell me the entire history in a pretty loud whisper. Then starts to nod off again.

She wakes up, some time later, and starts rummaging through her purse. She whips out this huge, butterfly hair clip. Like the size of my hand, and it's pretty ridiculous looking. I'm prepared to receive it and just whisper, "thanks," but she wants to see this thing on me. She tugs on my hair, twists my head 90 degrees (still in church) and starts to wrestle getting this thing in my hair, which she does in record time, thank God. Back to the service to which I'm paying no attention (nothing new there).

A few more minutes follow of more of the same: falling asleep, nudging, pastor YELLING. I look over at Rose to see how she's doing and... she's totally conked out. Practically laying on her side on the pew, but at least not snoring.

Tina awakes again after yet ANOTHER nodding off and gives me yet ANOTHER gift: Half-empty. Smells kinda sick. Shove it in my bag along with my other two gifts in the last hour or so. Tina falls back asleep.

I'm at the end of my rope when all of a sudden, Rose doesn't just stir, but totally snaps awake and makes the largest amount of noise that anybody has ever made with this plastic bag of hers. I caught myself before I laughed out loud. But believe you me, it took all I had to not. I tilt my head down, my whole body convulsing minorly in laughter. Service still going on.

I think about how ridiculous and HILARIOUS everything is, how the pastor is making semi-snide remarks at the falling asleep of my friends ("I know we're all tired, but let's try to stay awake and respect the Word of the Lord."), how this woman with so little is constantly giving me things and saying positive things ("I feel so great here. I'm so glad I came." etc)... and I am so grateful for the diversity of the Body of Christ. I'm so grateful that we are all gritty ragamuffins and that God loves us regardless. I'm so grateful for surprises, for friends, for love.

I'm getting better at this.

2007-07-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

The scariness of making decisions has dwindled considerably. Today I found out I got into Temple, so I wonder if that is what's helping in part. Even though I'm not super stoked to go, I at least have one more thing that would hold me here. I'm feeling very non-committal and have been for a while here now. But that too is lessening.

"god sometimes I hate life, and other times it makes perfect sense. so unfair."
-Shane Curry

I'm realizing that

2007-07-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

life is too good, too complex, too busy, too much of everything to contain on the internet. Which is what makes committing to writing on here hard for me.

Peace.

another day... must... post... something!

2007-07-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

In the Inquirer this morning there was an article about blackberries. It said their Latin name was "(something) alleghenis" or something close. The second word is essentially the street I live on, so I thought, "Sweet- my street means 'blackberry'!"

Turns out, it actually means, "strong river."

And this is why I don't blog because the posts consist of inconsequential things about which I'm usually wrong. How about that?

Scary things I've done today

2007-07-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

I have sent an email to somebody with potential financial aid connections at Temple.
I have written a little essay for financial appeal.
I have translated for a Spanish-speaking friend as she has tried to set up a doctor's appointment, get referrals, and work through red tape therein.
I have tried to finish THE DAMN FAFSA.
I have been in communication with a potential new housemate, e.g. HOLY CRAP LIVING INDEPENDENT.
I have tried to figure out budgets (again, HOLY CRAP LIVING INDEPENDENT)

And I'm about to call somebody about a job offer.
resting heart rate: 945,885 bpm

no es justo

2007-07-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

My good friend Amarily and I were watching some kind of Univision program kind of like Regis and Kelly (it was called "El Gordo y la Flaca" for those of you who are interested). They were talking about how the celebrity Thalia sold something or got money from something sold for a lot of money @ Christie's recently.

Amarily turns to me and says something to the effect of, "Hmph. She sells something so she can get richer, when you have to stress out about paying for school and I have to buy a school uniform for my son."

Yep.

Quotent quotables

2007-05-28T09:42:00.001-07:00

"Como estas?"
"Estoy... I'm in the best condition any man could ever be in."
~Heard between C and D streets
---

"Happy New Year! Happy New Year!"
~kid across the street. Today is Memorial Day.
---

"Ah. The national anthem."
~ Collins, Nigerian immigrant, in response to the ever squealing police sirens up and down our street

Is there such thing as time?

2007-05-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

Oh, this philosophy. I feel like I've been wasting time. I don't know how bloggers and folks like them can spend so much time online. Do they not do anything else? Because it sure looks like they do. Is time relative? Should I really be spending it better? Then again, I feel like I don't do much in my time OFF of the internet. Is this a good investment? Maybe not when I've got a bunch of other things to do. Maybe I just do this when I'm procrastinating? Guh.

I just wanted to say

2007-03-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

that the weather is beautiful outside and have been a consistent, favorite thing in my life. I actually just ate a with a . How about that? How I can think these positive things when I have been in THE WORST mood for the last week is beyond me. Then again, I am thinking of knives... I could sure use them on a housemate or two... wink.

These States, August 2007, and team communication

2007-03-26T11:27:00.000-07:00

We had a training on race and ethnicity for 2 days this weekend. To spare you from the emotional exhaustion, here is an idea I have about the future of this country and racism: how about... everybody goes back to their countries of origin (includes all us Euro mutts), Native Americans take back their land (all of it), and we all go back to our original cultures and become good countrypeople. Us white "Americans" are so detached from our original European cultures, and I think a lot of that is because we didn't have and still don't have any damn idea as to how we can live in harmony with other cultures and ethnic groups, even within our own "race." I am at least Irish, German, Scottish, and Welsh- probably more. It would be so hard to find out who I am and how I can honor and take pride in each of these groups both separately and jointly. So what do I do? Do I say, "God Bless America", and just accept that I live in this ridiculous, unbalanced, unfair, unpeaceful country/melting pot and continue to encourage others to do the same in order to have some visceral peace? I don't want to. How could we screw things up so much? Hmm... maybe if we all did, indeed, start over in separate countries, the same things would happen again. Some ethnic group would end up wanting to acquire land via violence and humiliation, and there would just be another bunch of jerks in this country (if not white people again) and we would be back where we started from. Dang. What a crappy situation. I think we should re-draft the Constitution and have equal numbers of all ethnic groups, men, women, who live in the States. Guh.

My identity as a child of the Living God should suffice, and the bottom line is that it does. But... I'm in this world, and despite all the pain and idiocy, there is a lot of beauty. And there is plenty of work to do. I'm trying to figure out what it means to be in this world but not of it (wherever Paul said that in the New Testament). I can't just ignore all the racism and crap in the world like it doesn't exist (i.e. a typical white response) and be totally idealistic. I have to fight against it head on, but at the same love my neighbors: red, yellow, black, and white. Such a simple command, but not simple as in "easy." Oh Jesus, have mercy on us sinners.
_______

And then onto what I will do after this program is over in August.

1. I'll stay in Philly and maybe finish up my undergrad (international something or other? social work? + ESL certification)

2. I'll go to China and teach English. I miss it a lot.

3. I'll go to Europe and figure out who my ancestors were.

Oh, the options!
______

Hmm, strangely enough, I don't even want to talk about team stuff. I'm too tired of dealing w/ all this other stuff. Let's just say, spring break couldn't come any sooner! And that if a relationship is redefined, it take time to reel from what that means for interaction between two people afterwards, and how the dynamics have changed and such. No, this is nothing about romance. Sorry.

So, the said ferocious storm turned out to be...

2007-03-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

a decent sized storm after all. It snowed all the day I posted the last blog, it had been snowing since early that morning, and it continued into the next day. When all was said and done, we got about 6"! It was, of course, messy and required a whole lot of shoveling, which I sure didn't mind. I miss physical labor sometimes; I don't do it nearly enough or as strenuously as I'd like. However, between all that shoveling and drumming, my arms have changed quite a bit.

Exhibit A- my arms before snow, djembes, and dun-uns:

Exhibit B- my arms AFTER snow and djembes:

The difference is pretty vast. Plus, as you can see, I've started smoking a corncob pipe. And these are my arms even before TENNIS SEASON is starting! There was a point where my forearms were so swollen that I had to take my watch off before it cut off my circulation- crazy! And this is ME, being in the skinny-wrist club w/ some old friends.my muscles will even fit on this page after I've been out on the court for a while!

But anyway, the snow was, of course, AMAZING. I spent probably about 3 hours or so outside on St. Patrick's day playing w/ a couple of neighbor kids.

And speaking of St. Pat's, this was a weekend of cooking endeavors for yours truly. I made colcannon for the first time and soda bread- both successful! It was an excellent meal- an Irish blessing, good Irish food, Flogging Molly, 3 housemates... but there was, indeed, something missing. In Nate's words, "it starts with a 'G' and ends with an 'uinness.'" Oh, and two other housemates were gone for the evening. That's what I meant. Then after dinner, a couple of us went over to Camden to listen to some good ole Irish folk music. It was nice, albeit operatic at times, which doesn't throw me too much :-| Then it was off to tea at the home of friends. It was a nice day overall.

drip. drip. drip.

2007-03-16T06:50:00.000-07:00

I've never been a big fan of deep bodies of water. This has been the case since I was a kid, between seeing scary trees in a lake and then being around a cold ocean about every other weekend.

Despite this, I have had a lot of run-ins with aquatic things, such as:

1. It's snowing/sleeting/raining/winter-mixing today a lot and people are FA-LIPPING OUT. Here's a picture of the FEROSITY OF THIS STORM: Come on, now.
2. I colored a picture the other night, and I would not even think to use any colors that weren't blues or greens. I had never felt such an aversion to "warm" colors.
3. I drew a walrus on the mirror- LOOK:
4. We were reading a poem about the environment at afterschool and are painting a mural of things we want to protect that are mentioned therein. I chose "rivers and the fish." (It's not painted yet, but it will be incredible, believe you me!)
5. My drumming class is SIMPLY AMAZING. It is so, so much fun, and I get new bruises on different parts of my hands every week. Last night, I was thinking about how there are all these watery things going on, and then I remembered: the song that we are being taught is called the Kuku. The kuku is a song that is played in Guinea after women return from their fishing harvest. How about that? The folks teaching my class are called the psalters. They are incredible, and here they are performing this beloved Kuku: www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPeH89IVcjE (can't figure out how to post it as a video)This isn't the whole song or performance; it's from the 3rd break to the end. The entire song is even more incredible.
I'm so lucky to have these folks teaching me. Life is rad.

Here are my thoughts: community living has been tough, there are some hard things going on in the house, I feel a lot of spiritual distance from God, and the weather this winter has in part been dreary, stagnant, and seemingly unending. My whole self is yearning for freshness, new birth, new growth...

I'm ready for winter to be done and for spring to come.

I feel so connected to this canvas; it feeds my soul everyday I see it.("All creation groans for rebirth!")

Spring and Angela

2007-03-15T07:08:00.000-07:00

One: I have new spring legs. I shaved them for the first time since Christmas, and even then I didn't really want to. Oh, and this endeavor took nearly one half hour. But the weather is amazing; it's hard to be in a bad mood when it's so great outside, for real. Hopefully it sticks around... supposedly it's supposed to snow tomorrow; drat!

Two: I still haven't posted pictures. (update: psyche! I've scattered a few throughout posts!)

Three: Here's a cute exchange I had w/ a student I hadn't seen for a few weeks-

Me: Hi Angela!
Angela: Oh!... em... goo morning!
Me: Donde has estado?
Angela: Em... I... eh... como le dicen "yo extrano"?
Me: "I miss"
Angela: "I meess"
Me: Uh huh.
Angela: Bueno. Em... yo extrano... a you teacher!

Angela is a great lady. She is 70 years old, a recent immigrant from Colombia, and in my morning class. We looked at the word "pharmacist", I asked her how she thought it might be pronounced, and she said, "...en?" So we have some work to do.

Yo extrano Lake Twenty-Two and the Glacier region in general:

But I do have this out our back window, which I think is pretty great also:

Thank you God for beauty.

"Little Richard" auf Deutsch and a small gust of "Four Winds"

2007-03-07T08:55:00.000-08:00

I had a pretty great weekend, and I have some pretty great pictures to share from the last few months.
...
Neither of those are in this post. BUT! Here's a little culture, old and new:

First, a poem by Rainer Maria Rilke that went well with me the other day:

Alle, welche dich suchen, versuchen dich.
Und die, so dich finden, binden dich
an Bild und Gebarde.

Ich aber will dich begreifen
wie dich die Erde begreift;
mit meinem Reifen
reift
dein Reich.

Ich will von dir keine Eitelkeit,
die dich beweist.
Ich weiss, dass die Zeit
anders heisst
als du.

Tu mir kein Wunder zulieb.
Gieb deinen Gesetzen recht,
die von Geschlecht zu Geschlecht
sichtbarer sind.

_____

All who seek you
test you.
And those who find you
bind you to image and gesture.

I would rather sense you
as the earth sense you.
In my ripening
ripens
what you are.
I need from you no tricks
to prove you exist.
Time, I know,
is other than you.
No miracles, please.
Just let your laws
become clearer
from generation
to generation.
II, 15

I like. Also, I heard this lyric off the new(er) Bright Eyes album:

"People are made up of water and fear/
if there weren't women present, we wouldn't be here/
so let's make like we're friends."

Somehow, these blokes make me pensive. Then I find out that there's a reference to something that everybody already knows from pop-culture or something like that. Either way, the new album is pretty good. More upbeat than past ones.

Sharing the wealth, sort of

2007-03-02T06:47:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard of pandora.com, you should go to the site and listen your little heart out. I was just made aware of this site a few weeks ago- you go and tell it what song or artist or whatev you like and it customizes radio stations just for YOU. It's wicked cool. That's all- see you in a few months!

Approximately 10 Thursdays later...

2007-03-01T08:27:00.000-08:00

So all of a sudden, I have a good handful of friends who are writing blogs pretty faithfully that I read and I remembered that I started one up about 3 months ago, which I have all but neglected. These blog things aren't really my bag, I guess, but since I've given up myspace for Lent in hopes of getting better at other correspondence... I have a craving for just some internet activity. I'm a machine! Blech.

So, this is my first update in a while and I really have very little to say. Except that I got my haircut. And I'm going to a West African drumming class tonight and then to pubquiz. And that Louis fell asleep at afterschool yesterday, was snoring like nobody's business, and us teachers (well, mostly me. And Nate) were cracking up. Here he was:

Here he is with Mallory- two very dear people in one picture. Almost can't handle such goodness:

Stuff is still busy here- I'm tutoring folks everyday and teaching ESL pretty much all but one of those days, afterschool, community/social/church stuff... not to metion trying (feebly) to uphold relationships in WA. You know. Okay, goodbye internet

Dum vita est, spes est

2006-12-07T08:14:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, Sarah and I had our first star-sighting since we've been in Philly (three months)! Star-sighting as in, actual stars in the sky. We counted six out our bathroom window! It was awesome.

ALSO... if you want to read my monthly newsletter, go to myspace.com/gongbao and to my blog section- it's a little more active than this one.

Just a quick one

2006-11-29T11:44:00.000-08:00

Louis kept saying, "Free ballin'" over and over again, not really knowing what that phrase really implies.

From across the river. Which is a greater distance than usual.

2006-11-10T10:57:00.000-08:00

So, holy smokes- apparently Snohomish (my hometown) is under a lot of water right now! This picture is about half an hour or so away, couldn't find a closer pic:

I am missing all the excitement. I guess I will have to settle for these last few days of 65 degree weather. Oh well.

Dong xi (things)

2006-11-09T12:31:00.000-08:00

I got home last night at the same time one of our next-door neighbors did. We small-talked and then she dropped her cellphone, which promptly broke open. She gasped and didn't say a single word until she got it back together. In the meantime, I was trying to find my keys, and getting annoyed at how all the stuff I had in there (including some new purchases from that day) were obstructing my search. I realized, as I watched her intensity and care as she fixed her phone, that her cellphone was her world. Contacts, all that kind of important stuff in there, plus they're kinda spendy. I could replace mine more easily than she could replace hers, probably, and my big irritation was that all my stuff was getting in my way of getting inside. The squeaking of my new items at the same time as her phone making funky noises was sort of poetic to me. This might not sound so huge, and it wasn't really. Just another daily perpective checker.

And by the way: Louis is gonna shovel our snow (it's about 65 today) and all we have to give him is 2 cookies. And maybe some hot chocolate. He showed us yesterday some dancing that looked more rag-time than hip-hop. Don't mess with Louis.

A Sabbatical notice

2006-11-06T18:28:00.000-08:00

Today, I was sitting in our dining room. Out of nowhere, I noticed that a dog a few houses down was barking in exact sync with the dripping of a bathroom faucet. This went on for about 30 seconds and then they slipped into syncopation. It reminded me of something Maya Angelou said: "Everything in the universe has rhythm. Everything dances."

Oh my lands... Oh my Louis...

2006-11-03T08:49:00.000-08:00

So, not only did I create a gmail account today, but this blog also, and this is my THIRD POST. Here's what this blog is partially for, here's what you have all come for: Louis T.

If you can imagine Notorious B.I.G. at ten, and with a tattoo of his name on his arm already, then you can imagine Louis. Louis is a star. Louis is a kid who brought a whole crab on a broken paper plate for an after-school snack one day and ate the whole thing while other kids were having granola bars.

Louis: Knock, knock
Nate: Who's there?
Louis: Dunkle Donuts
Nate: Dunkle Donuts who?
Louis: Haa haa! Man it sound like you say "Dunkin Donuts"! ha HAAA!

There's a guy named Tim at the afterschool program where we met Louis. Louis calls Tim "Sponge Bob Leprechaun Jaws." There is absolutely no reason for this!

Adam: "Listen, if you knew Louis last year, you would know how much progress he's made. If he could get through a day without setting something on fire or taking his pants off, it was a good day. I'm not kidding."

M.F.E.O!

2006-11-03T08:23:00.000-08:00

I was trying to decide on what template or whatever to use for my blog, so I clicked on some random one. Turns out, that click was irreversible, so I was stuck with it until I could change it later. BUT... as it turns out... the little picture in the top right corner... IS A SPOT IN PHILLY. I'm pretty sure (?). No joke. What are the odds? So I'm leaving it just as it is.

Testing. Testing. 1, 2. 1. 2. Tessssst.

2006-11-03T08:19:00.000-08:00

Blog is go-